Mary Sues, They're Quite Strange Creautures
by WinterFairy209
Summary: A Mary Sue has come to Hogwarts! Will the trio found out her true nature? Will she be vanquished from Hogwarts (and other good fics) once and for all? Will it be an enjoyable read? (The author hopes so!). Features the dreaded Mary Sue!
1. Chapter 1

Harry and the gang were sitting in the Great Hall, at the beginning of their sixth year, waiting for the usual stream of first years. The first years walked by, each draped in their robes and fidgeting nervously. Harry, Ron and Hermione smiled at them, each remembering their own experience as first years.

Dumbledore stood up from the staff table, and instead of starting his welcome to Hogwarts speech, said something else entirely. "Here at Hogwarts, we've got a most unusual situation," he began.

Everybody started whispering to each other, wondering what the situation was and whether or not it involved Voldemort.

"Quiet down, students," Dumbledore said sternly, and the hall was silent. "We have a new student..."

Almost everybody looked at him confused. They knew Dumbledore was odd, but to say something they already knew as it had importance was _extremely_ odd.

"Who is a 6th year," Dumbledore finished and everybody felt a gasp bubble up in them despite most of them being apathetic towards the fact.

"Meet Amber Rose Ebony Dumbledore, my great niece," Dumbledore said, stepping aside for the girl to make way her in front of the school as another collective gasp rang through the hall. The gasp was initially of shock over Dumbledore's unknown relative but turned into one of shock over the girl's astounding beauty.

Amber Rose had long, wispy silver hair that hung lower than her short, but not in a slutty way, skirt. Her figure was great, with a tiny waist and big, perky breasts. Her hips were wide, but not in a fat way, and child-bearing like. Her legs were long and could go on for miles but ended at her tiny, Cinderella-like feet. Her lips were plush, pink and very kissable. But the most astounding thing about her were her eyes, golden like the Sun at dawn and looked like Midas himself had touched them to give them their warm, regal glow.

"Hi!" Amber Rose said in a voice that sent chills down the entire male population of Hogwarts. "I'm Amber Rose Ebony Dumbledore, but you guys can just call me Amber Rose."

"Hi, Amber Rose," The population of Hogwarts echoed in a zombie-like way.

"Hi," Amber Rose giggled, but stopped when she noticed some people furrowing their eyes at her due to the repetitive manner. "Anyway," she said, flitting her golden eyes over the student body. "There's a very good reason I'm here at Hogwarts this late, which my Uncle Dumbledore will explain," she looked up at him expectantly. "Right?"

"Right you are, Amber Rose," The headmaster said, laying a reassuring hand on his great niece's shoulder. "Amber Rose is here this late due to her stepfather in the states, not in any relation to me, abusing her and keeping her in a closet under the stairs," Harry's heart squeezed with understanding and he forged an instant connection with the poor girl. "Giving her no knowledge of the magical world until I got custody of her. Despite that, Amber Rose is a very skilled witch and will take classes with the sixth years."

The Ravenclaws started grumbling over the newcomer enrolling in top classes until Amber Rose looked at them, and they became hypnotized with her practically glowing orbs.

"So, due to the fact Amber should have been here years ago, she will be sorted first," Dumbledore started to say, before Amber Rose put a petite hand on his arm and looked up at him with her eyes, tear filled and full of pain due to the recounting of her tragedy. "Please, Uncle Dumbledore, I'll go last," she said with maturity and gentleness.

"But-" Dumbledore tried to protest, but failed.

"No," Amber Rose continued, her eyes glistening. "These first years deserve their chance to shine."

The first years cheered at this assessment and Amber Rose ducked her head bashfully.

"Oh, alright, whatever feels right to you, Amber Rose," Dumbledore agreed.

"Thanks, Uncle Dumbledore," Amber Rose said and she planted a kiss on the headmaster's withered cheek.

The first years started being sorted, but nobody could pay attention to anything but Amber Rose's arrival.

"I never knew Dumbledore had a great niece," Hermione whispered. "It was never mentioned when I read about him."

"You read about Dumbledore?" Ron asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, of course. I wanted to know about our headmaster," Hermione replied.

"Yeah, Ron," Harry teased with a smile. "Shouldn't you know this by now? Hermione looks _everything_ up."

Ron shrugged. "Don't blame me for still being a tiny bit surprised."

"What house do you think she'll get into?" Ron asked the group.

"Maybe Hufflepuff? She was kind enough to let the first years get sorted first even though she could have gone first," Hermione theorized.

"I hope Gryffindor," Ron said. "It would be nice to have a new and interesting person around here."

"Aren't I enough?" Harry teased.

"Well, it'd be nice to find a person who doesn't do _everything_ ," Ron said, his voice tinged with bitterness.

"Says the prefect," Harry remarked, oblivious to Ron's tone of voice.

"Right! I beat you at that, mate," Ron exclaimed to Harry.

"Shh," Hermione said. "She's getting sorted."

The last first year had walked to his table among cheers, and Amber Rose had moved from her place next to Dumbledore to the Sorting Hat.

As it got placed on her head, the Sorting Hat made a grimace and started conferring with itself.

Almost five minutes later, the Sorting Hat made its choice. "Gryffindor!"

The Gryffindor table cheered as it always did for its new recruits, but twice as rowdy, and the other houses sighed, disappointed by missing out on what surely must be a talented witch.

Amber Rose immediately sauntered up to the Golden Trio.

"Hello!" she pleasantly greeted with a smile. "May I sit here?" Amber Rose pointed to an unoccupied seat next to Harry, and Harry felt an odd feeling like somebody was sitting there before, but instead decided to focus on not drooling all over Amber Rose.

"Sure," he said. "I'm Harry Potter, by the way."

"Harry Potter!" Amber Rose's golden eyes twinkled, much like her great uncle's. "I've heard of you, you're the boy who lived!"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly but there was a glimmer of pride in his voice when he spoke. "Yeah, I am."

"I'm Hermione Granger," Hermione said as she stuck out her hand for a hearty handshake. "I know a lot about Hogwarts, so I can help you adjust."

Ron nodded enthusiastically. "She's the smartest one in our year!"

Hermione blushed slightly, but did nothing to deny Ron's words.

Amber Rose leaned across the table to shake Hermione's hand. "Hello 'Mione. I have a feeling we'll be great friends." At Amber Rose's words, Hermione let out an uncharacteristic giggle, causing both of the boys to raise an eyebrow, both at the giggle and the new nickname.

"Well, I'm Ron Weasley," said Ron trying to shake off the strangeness of Hermione's actions. "How's it like being related to Dumbledore?"

Amber Rose suddenly grew somber and she stared at her lap. "I wouldn't know much," Her voice was quiet and demure now, almost like it was perfectly designed to squeeze out every drop of sympathy from their hearts. "He only took me in about a month ago, before that I've had to live with my step-father for all of my life."

Tears started making their way down her porcelain skin and Harry suddenly swept her into his arms, holding her close. "Shh, shh," he hushed into her hair. "It's okay, you're here with us now."

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you."

Hermione and Ron exchanged looks, Harry had never been the touchy-feely type, and especially to girls he just met.

* * *

A couple minutes later, Dumbledore dismissed them to their common rooms and everybody stood up, eager to relax and catch up with each other after the long train ride and heavy meal.

Ron and Harry stood next to each other as they began to walk to the Gryffindor tower, Amber Rose choosing to mingle with her new classmates. Even Hermione lingered a bit behind, wondering what was with Harry's strangeness.

"Oi, Harry," Ron elbowed him in the side. "Getting a bit cozy to Amber Rose, eh?"

"I don't know," Harry answered, his voice hollow. "I don't know what came over me."

Ron glanced strangely at Harry and Hermione edged a bit closer. "Harry, Ron, how about we talk about this in the common room? We've got prefect duty, Ron."

Ron and Harry both nodded and Hermione cleared a path to the beginning of the group, Ron dumbly following behind.

* * *

 ** _Author's Note: Wow, this could actually be a Sue-fic if I wanted it to. Don't worry, it'll get a lot more sue parody later. And why is Harry at the sorting on time? Sue magic. Please review and fav!_**


	2. Chapter 2

Amber Rose walked towards Hermione after they had entered the Gryffindor common room.

"Excuse me," she said, showing no nerves at all. "I'd like to know when I'll get my prefect badge."

"Prefect?" Hermione's brow furrowed as her lips turned into a thin line. "I'm sorry, but I'm already the prefect-"

Amber Rose interrupted her, "I asked when I would get my prefect badge." She focused her golden eyes on Hermione and tossed back a glossy lock of silver hair, looking as though she was concentrating on something.

Hermione's demeanor suddenly changed, and she stuttered out, "O-Of course. Silly me. I'll escort you to get it right away."

"Thank you," Amber Rose said as she followed Hermione out the door. "It means _so_ much to me."

When they had left, Ron went up to Harry. "That's odd. Hermione's already the female prefect for this year. Why would Amber Rose be one too?"

"I don't know," Harry said, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"And if she was a prefect, why didn't she already get her badge in the mail?"

"I don't know either, but we should ask her when she gets back."

At this moment in time, Ron and Harry got swept up into a plethora of "Welcome back's" and summer stories.

* * *

The boys were notified of Amber Rose and Hermione's arrival back in the common room when the mob of chattering students slowly started moving and engulfed Amber Rose, leaving their bushy-haired friend none too pleased.

"Hmmph!" she muttered as she started to rearrange her robes, a glassy look starting to leave her eyes.

"Hermione, what was that business with Amber Rose?" Ron asked.

"Business? Oh, yes, that. It…it…it was…" Hermione looked like she was desperately trying to recall something. "Strange!" she finally exclaimed, and the word seemed to be the final piece that broke the dam because words started to quickly flow out of Hermione's mouth. "I mean, I'm the prefect for this year and if Amber Rose is a prefect she would have gotten the badge and it was mad because we went to go talk to McGonagall and she totally complied and I didn't say anything despite everything seemed so wrong now that I think of it. I don't think it was any sort of spell because I've never read about any spell that would have this effect except maybe Imperius but that's a forbidden spell and I didn't feel the same effect. Harry, what do you think? Do you think it's Imperius?"

"Uhh…" Harry racked his brain for what if felt like being under the Imperius Curse, all those years ago. "Did you hear a voice in your head, telling you what to do?"

"No."

"Did you feel really happy and calm?"

"Well, a bit, from just being near her."

Harry shook his head. "I don't think it's imperius and honestly? I have no better idea of what it could be."

"Great!" Ron exclaimed. "If you two don't know, what other person here would?" He looked at Harry. "Do you think it's related to your thing earlier?"

"Maybe. It felt really similar and both were related to Amber Rose," Harry answered.

"Okay, we need to find answers. Let's go find a professor," Ron declared.

"Ron, it's past curfew," Hermione pointed out.

"Hermione, we're prefects and Harry has an invisibility cloak. We're good."

"If we sneak out, we can't go find a professor." Hermione's eyes lit up. "The library! I'm sure there's something in the archives!"

"Okay, I'll go get my cloak, and meet you two there-"

"Harry, Hermione, Ron!" Amber Rose squealed, popping up. "I think we'd better get some rest now, be prepared for the coming school day."

Hermione's eyes glazed over. "We do need to be prepared for the first day of school."

"Yeah." Ron's eyes had a similar appearance. "N.E.W.T classes and all that."

"Ron! Hermione!" Harry hissed. "What has gotten into-"

"Harry," Amber Rose purred, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, it's time for bed."

"No-Yeah. Yeah. I've got nothing better to do."

"Cool! 'Mione, come show my new room!" Amber Rose squealed and grabbed Hermione, but not before showing the boy's to their dormitory.

* * *

"Why didn't we go to the library last night?" Ron wondered at breakfast the next morning. "Wow, never thought I'd say that."

"I remember planning to, but…" Hermione groaned. "I can't remember anything else."

"Something with Amber Rose," Harry said. "Something with her, I know it."

"She's a she-devil that's what, a dark arts performer!" Ron claimed.

"Ron, she's suspicious, but there's nothing to prove that," Hermione said.

"I agree with Ron, her magic is definitely not normal," Harry said. Ron shot Hermione a smug look.

"Hey, guys!" said a musical voice as Amber Rose sat down, giving off a floral scent. "We're getting our time-tables today, right?"

"Yeah," Harry grumbled.

"Cool!"

At this time promptly, McGonagall came over and confirmed schedules for the trio and Amber Rose.

Hermione was cleared for all her classes easily, and she sent a look to the boys that meant "talk to me later" before scurrying off to her class as Amber Rose smiled at her.

Harry was cleared for all his classes, but…

"Now, why haven't you applied to continue with Potions? I thought it was your ambition to become an Auror?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Harry felt his face grow hot. "It was, but you told me I had to get an 'Outstanding' in my O.W.L., Professor."

"Yes, I suppose that was true at one point in time, but Snape has changed his standards, and now you must only had to receive a minimum of 'Exceeds Expectations' to get into his N.E.W.T. Potions. So, will you be joining?"

Harry thought about it for a moment. On one hand, he did really want to become an Auror and needed an N.E.W.T. in Potions to achieve that, but on the other hand, Snape's behavior was definitely out of character and suspicious, he had no equipment, and did he really want to suffer with Snape another year?

"Come on, Harry, you _must_ sign up for Potions," Amber Rose tinkled in her charming voice, despite the fact that her schedule should have already been checked and she was supposed to be off to class.

"Well, alright, but I didn't buy the books or the ingredients or anything-"

"Oh, Harry!" Amber Rose giggled. "Don't be silly! I always purchase triple the required items, just in case someone forgets theirs."

Professor McGonagall signed off on his schedule and soon Ron's and Amber Rose's and the trio departed.

"Ugh! Double Potions with the Slytherin's first! Just our luck. Come on, let's see how Hermione's doing," Ron groaned.

"Yes, we really should go see the Slytherin's!" Amber Rose said, and nobody found anything strange about her remark, especially when she was looking at them and tossing her shiny silvery hair like that.

* * *

"Course' he's here," Ron said as they spotted Draco sitting smugly in the front of the class.

"Hermione, how are you doing?" Harry asked as they found Hermione sitting at one of the middle tables and Hermione's jaw dropped.

"Harry, Ron! You two weren't supposed to be in this class!"

"Didn't you hear? Snape lowered his standards!" Amber Rose cheered.

"Huh?" Hermione blinked. "Great!"

Snape walked in. "Everybody sit down," he commanded, a special look at the trio, er, quartet. Amber Rose stared him back.

"We will be working in partners today. Ms. Dumbledore, with Mr. Malfoy."

Amber Rose gave a small smile, before appearing to be sour, though her golden eyes still twinkled. "Darn! Sorry, guys."

"It's okay," The all said in unison.

"You can deal with Malfoy," Harry comforted her.

"I hope so."

"Ms. Dumbledore! Five points from Gryffindor for talking in class and not getting with your partner," Snape scowled.

"He's so mean!" whimpered Amber Rose, drawing sympathy from her fellow Gryffindors as she made her way to Draco.

Harry rubbed his head after she was safely a couple yards away and distracted. "Does this all seem…strange to you?"

Ron shook his head, trying to clear it. "What?"

"Snape changing his standards, Amber Rose having all that extra material, and did she smile when she was paired with Malfoy?"

"I…"

"Ms. Granger, with Mr. Longbottom," Snape stared at his sheet a while longer. "God help us."

"That!" Harry frantically whispered as Hermione confusedly moved towards Neville. "Definitely that!"

"What's happening?" Ron asked as the occurrences started piling up.

"I think…"

Amber Rose looked back at them from where Draco was staring at her, infatuated, and gave Snape a look.

"Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter! Separate and stop you nonsensical chattering!" Snape exclaimed. "20 points from Gryffindor!"

Harry looked desperately at Ron as he moved his books, courtesy of Amber Rose, to where Pansy Parkinson sat, having made it too.

"We will be making Draught of the Living Death, a difficult potion which will put the drinker in a sleep-like death for an indefinite amount of time. I do not expect any of you to be able to complete it in just time," Snape said.

* * *

"Done!" Amber Rose exclaimed a mere twenty minutes later, Draco's arm wrapped snugly around her slender and curvy waist.

Snape looked at the potion, before saying stiffly, "Well done. It is…acceptable."

Amber Rose smiled pleasantly at him, her brow attractively furrowed in intense concentration as Draco beamed at her.

"So acceptable in fact, I will dismiss the class early, as to spare us from other's attempts." Snape looked at Hermione's and Neville's cauldron, which was bubbling threateningly after Neville had added too much infusion of wormwood when he saw Amber Rose wink at him.

Everybody gladly cleaned up their areas and left quickly before Snape could change his mind.

"Guys!" Amber Rose chirped to the trio outside the classroom. "I'm sorry I can't hang out with you right now, I have some business to attend to."

She flounced towards the outside of the school and Draco sneaked out behind her.

"Did Malfoy just…" Ron pointed out.

"Never mind that," Hermione dismissed. "We need to talk about Amber Rose."

"Yeah, but where? Whenever we start talking about her, we just…stop." Harry thought for a second longer, "Because, because of her!"

"I think she'll be busy," Ron shivered. "Disgusting!"

"How about the library?" Hermione suggested. "Our original plan."

"Yeah!" Harry exclaimed. "Let's go-"

Snape poked his head outside the classroom. "If you three insist on hanging around here after I so generously let you go, then why don't you help me clean up some more?"

The trio sighed and went to go clean up some more potions, finding it quicker then arguing, unaware that Amber Rose had just sneaked by them a moment ago to go to Draco's private quarters, to have an angst filled make-out session about their opposing views.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Author's Note: I am so sorry I didn't update yesterday! I planned too, but then I was called away from my precious laptop to sort papers a half-an-hour from where I lived for around two hours. Yeah. So my mind was so addled that didn't realize until today. Please forgive me! Don't forget to R &R!_**

* * *

Unfortunately, the trio had little luck finding a place to discuss Amber Rose, as she was in all of their classes, and whenever in her presence, they forget the mission at hand.

So they had no choice but to go on with their schedules as normal and try to appear as sane as mind as possible. At the moment, Harry was in common room while Hermione and Ron were on prefect duty.

"Harry!" Amber Rose squealed as she left her dormitory. Harry reluctantly set down his Quidditch magazine.

"Hi," he said as Amber Rose sidled up to him.

"Hi! How are you?"

"Good, better with you here," Harry flirted as he succumbed to Amber Rose's powers. A full three seconds longer than last time ** _._**

"Oh," Amber Rose giggled bashfully, batting her long, full lashes.

"So, how are you?" Harry asked as he wrapped his arm around Amber Rose's waist.

"Well, but…oh, I couldn't trouble you!" she cried.

"Of course you can trouble me," Harry looked deeply into her eyes, jade green meeting shimmering gold. "I'm always here for you."

"I've…I've been having…dreams," Amber Rose sniffled.

"What kind of dreams?" Harry gripped her arms urgently.

"Dreams…about my past." Amber Rose threw herself into Harry's chest. "Oh, Harry they're awful!"

"It's okay, I'm right here," Harry said, lovingly smoothing down her hair.

Amber Rose cried until she eventually passed out, snuggled on Harry's lap. Harry managed to regain control of himself as Hermione and Ron entered to room.

"Er, what happened, mate?" Ron asked as he spotted the situation.

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "She sort of just cried herself to sleep."

Hermione lit up. "That's great! I mean, not the crying bit, but the asleep part! We could go down to the library and-"

Amber Rose blinked. "Wha-what happened?"

"Nothing!" Ron exclaimed, waving his hands nervously. "Just go back to sleep."

"Did I fall asleep?" Everybody nodded. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry! Please forgive me!" Amber Rose wrapped herself around Harry again.

"It's okay," soothed Harry, burying his hand in her hair. "We understand."

"Yeah," Hermione approached Amber Rose. "Let me take you to our dormitory."

"Okay," Amber Rose stood up on shaking legs and Hermione gently guided her back towards her dormitory.

"Do you know what this means?" Harry asked.

"No, what?" Ron said.

"That we can get out of her control when she's asleep!"

"Wouldn't we have already done that if we could?"

"I don't know, but if we can get her to fall asleep, we can find out what's up once and for all!"

"Okay, but I don't think Hermione's coming back out," Ron said as he stared at the door. "And we can't leave her out of this."

"Yeah, you're right, let's go to bed," Harry gave a yawn and the two boys departed.

* * *

The boys informed Hermione of what had happened while she and Ron were gone and their discovery in frantic whispers at breakfast, while Amber Rose was conversing with some Hufflepuffs outside the Great Hall.

"It does make sense, she's always the last in our dorm to fall asleep," Hermione tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Now all we have to is get her to fall asleep."

"How about how she originally fell asleep? Crying?" Ron suggested.

Hermione stared distastefully at him. "It's not like we can make her have bad dreams and then cry about it."

"Maybe we can make her feel sympathy," Harry theorized and he spotted Amber Rose entering the hall.

"Amber Rose," he said as she sat down and he put on a long face. "Have you heard? One of Hagrid's creatures met an early death after eating some poisonous berries."

"Aww," Amber Rose whimpered and tears started pricking at her eyes. "How sad."

"I know, but we must be strong," Harry said as the group went under her control again. "And you can be the strongest of all." He covered her hands in his.

"I will," Amber Rose said determinedly. "For Hagrid."

* * *

"Okay, so now we know what to do, but when?" Ron whispered in Potions, Amber Rose once again paired with Draco.

"After classes let out would be optimal," Hermione said. The potion today required three brewers.

"When should we tell Harry?" Ron said as he glanced at where Harry was hotly arguing with Draco for one reason or another as Amber Rose played peacekeeper.

"After class, if we can grab him."

"Guys? Can we work on the potion now?" Neville whimpered as a flying cauldron narrowly missed his head.

* * *

Luckily each house only lost 500 hundred points instead of each player being gifted detention, the one time the trio could appreciate Amber Rose's presence.

In the common room, Harry staggered in, reciting Hermione's plan in his head. "Amber Rose!"

Amber Rose looked up from her book on "Super SUPER Hard Transfiguration". "Yes?"

"My scar," he groaned. "It hurts!"

"Oh!" She gracefully discarded her book and guided Harry towards the sofa. "Why?"

"I see…horrible things!" Harry reached out towards an invisible figure.

"Horrible things?" Amber Rose whispered.

"Yes, I just…" he groaned again. "Just can't tell you."

A tear fell down Amber Rose's cheek. "Harry?"

"It's okay," Harry caressed her cheek. "I've got you."

Amber Rose was freely crying now. "Oh, Harry!"

She sobbed into him before snoozing on his shoulder.

Harry carefully pushed Amber Rose off of him and laid her on the couch, feeling a bit bad for the deception.

He made his way out of the common rooms and towards the library.

* * *

"Ron, have you found anything yet?" Hermione asked over a tower of books.

"If I had, I would've told you!" Ron said frustratingly. "Why do none of these bloody books have what we need?"

"We just have to keep searching," Hermione sighed, frustrated herself.

Harry entered the room and slid onto one of the chairs for the table. "No luck?"

"Funny," Ron drawled.

"Pick up book and start searching," Hermione pointed to a pile of unread books to her left.

* * *

"There has to be something!" Hermione frantically flipped through a book about types of magic. "There has to be!"

"Hermione, we've found nothing and it's only a matter of time until Amber Rose wakes up," Ron said drearily as he rested his cheek on his hand.

Luna, with a book bigger than her head, went up to Harry, Ron and Hermione. "Mind if I sit here?" she asked, pointing to an empty seat at their table.

"Sure," Harry said distractedly, watching Hermione's attempts to find information with Ron.

"What are you doing?"

The trio exchanged glances.

"We were just talking about Amber Rose," Harry answered, a half-truth.

"Yeah, doesn't she seem a bit strange to you?" Ron interrupted, briefly missing the irony of asking Luna Lovegood that question.

"Well, not strange in a good way, but strange in a bad way," Luna said. "And that's only because she's a Mary Sue."

"Mary Sue?" questioned Hermione. "Why, I never heard of such a thing."

"Oh, they're real, I read about them in a special edition of the Quibbler," At this notion Hermione rolled her eyes. "And they're creatures that feed off attention and praise. Can be quite nasty if challenged or called by their name."

"If Amber Rose is a, er, Mary Sue, then why does she look so much like us?" Harry asked.

"It's because they were made with a mix of Veela blood, so they would be attractive to us wizards," Luna answered. "You see, Mary Sues often try to seek out a mate of fame or desire to others and in order to do that, they would have to be beautiful to fool the wizard or witch into thinking they're regular just like us."

Luna continued talking about Mary Sues. "They're often known to steal the destiny of others." Luna eyed Harry. "I'd watch out if I were you Harry, killing you-know-who is exactly the thing a Mary Sue would love to do."

"But," Harry objected. "She can't do that, I'm the chosen one."

"Yes, but Mary Sues can warp reality to their pleasing based on their strength," Luna nodded. "Quite dangerous creatures indeed. Really, more people should know about them."

"Mind if we talk among ourselves for a second Luna?" Harry asked and the blonde nodded. Harry got up and motioned Hermione and Ron a couple of paces away.

"Could she be right?" Harry whispered.

"It sounds entirely implausible!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Amber Rose sounds entirely implausible, yet here she is, walking and talking," Ron said tiredly.

"I think we should at least give it a shot," Harry said. "It's the best lead we've gotten."

Ron nodded in agreement and the two both stared at Hermione.

Hermione gave a sigh and looked at Luna. "You don't happen to have a copy of that issue, do you?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: My favorite chapter so far!**_

* * *

Hermione flipped through the article of Mary Sues, Ron and Harry peering over her shoulders. "This certainly does seem like Amber Rose."

"Except the illustrations," Ron pointed at a portrait of a girl with long black hair, full of dyed streaks, and crying blood. "What is she, a vampire?"

"Apparently so," Hermione said, reading the description below.

"Lucky we didn't get her," Harry shivered. "Does it say anything about how to get rid of them?"

Hermione's eyes trailed down the page. "Here in the 'Symptoms' category, it says you can order an 'Anti-Sue charm bracelet' to get rid of all the effects."

"A charm bracelet?" Ron asked, disgusted.

"Would you rather be under her control forever?" Hermione snapped.

Ron shook his head. "No."

"I can order the bracelets for us," Harry suggested.

Hermione nodded. "Good. But it says here shipping can be up to a week," she squinted. "If they don't get destroyed by the Riddle kids?"

"What?" Ron asked.

"I don't know, let's not try to find out," Harry said.

"Right. I'll look over it more, but curfew just about to set in," Hermione said and the trio headed towards the common room, Hermione managing to hide the magazine from Amber Rose.

* * *

The trio were very much looking towards to when the bracelets would arrive, they had sent the owl at breakfast, but until then, were trapped taking classes with Amber Rose, oblivious as the rest of the school.

* * *

POTIONS:

* * *

"We will be brewing Amortentia today," Snape said, pacing around the class. "I hope none of you get ahead of yourselves due to the effects. And, despite how 'nice' it smells, at no circumstance do you drink it."

After brewing the potion, two Hufflepuff boys in the back raised their hands.

"Sir," said the first one. "Something's wrong with ours."

"How?" Snape glanced at the perfectly brewed potion.

"We both smell the same thing," pointed out the second one.

Snape sighed. "What do you smell?"

"Her," they said in unison, pointing to Amber Rose, who ducked her head shyly.

"Who else smells Ms. Dumbledore in their Amortentia?" Snape asked.

Every boy in the room raised their hands. No girls, because Amber Rose didn't swing that way, you know?

"Looks you have some admirers, Ms. Dumbledore," Snape said dryly to the blushing girl.

Hermione leaned over and whispered to Harry and Ron, glancing at the Hufflepuff boys, "Are they even in this class?"

* * *

TRANSFIGURATION:

* * *

"Today, class, we will be brushing up on our knowledge about Animagi," Professor McGonagall said. "As you know, Animagi are wizards that can transform into an animal at will that reflects their personality. The process to become one is very difficult and it is very rare you should meet one as there are only seven registered Animagi this century in Great Britain-"

Amber Rose stood up and cleared her throat. "Excuse me, Professor," she said with her big, innocent golden eyes. "I think you mean eight."

"Eight? Why so?"

"I just completed my process this summer and was registered."

"You are?" Professor McGonagall said dryly. "Might I ask, what is your form?"

"Why don't I show you?" Amber Rose's eyes twinkled as she wordlessly transformed in a phoenix, making everyone it the room gasp. Her Animagus had silver feathers and golden eyes, its talons hot pink. The creature, Amber Rose, pruned itself a bit before soaring around the room.

"Ms. Dumbledore, I suggest you transform back to normal." Amber Rose landed and morphed back into her beautiful human form to cheers and applauds. Harry kissed her hand. Neville cried tears of joy. Someone even threw their boxers.

"That…was…wonderful," Professor McGonagall sucked in her breath. "50 points to Gryffindor. And Amber Rose, stay for a biscuit?"

* * *

CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES:

* * *

"Today we'll be meeting some unicorns," Hagrid introduced. "Very fine creatures, they are. Shy, though. Very selective on who they warm up to."

"Um, Hagrid, where are the unicorns?" Ron asked.

Hagrid blushed. "You see, on account of them bein' so shy, we couldn't gather them up for your lesson. You'll just stand on the edge of the forbidden forest and hope they come up to meet you."

The kids groaned at this revelation.

"Now, now, don't get in a fuss, I'm sure we'll see at least one."

Amber Rose was the first to step forward, and immediately, a pristine white unicorn pranced out of the woods, and squirmed its head under Amber Rose's hand.

"Wow," Hagrid gaped. "I ain't ever seen nothin' like that before."

Amber Rose smiled diminishingly at Hagrid as she pet the unicorn. "Want to pet her too?"

Hagrid grinned furiously and stepped forward, but the unicorn whinnied and stepped back.

"Approach calmly, Princess Milkycoat is very sensitive," Amber Rose said, before gently coaxing "Princess Milkycoat" forward.

"Princess Milkycoat?" Hagrid asked.

"I can speak to unicorns and she told me that was her name."

Everybody nodded. "Seems alright."

Princess Milkycoat was pet by Hagrid and subsequently by each student until she neighed towards Amber Rose.

"She says she'd like to be ridden," Amber Rose smiled. "By me."

Hagrid gave his okay and Amber Rose mounted Princess Milkycoat. They spoke to each other is a series of whispers and neighs before Amber Rose gripped Princess Milkycoat's white with pink streaks mane and rode off into the distance to the absolute wonder of the students.

"…Is she coming back?"

* * *

DIVINATION:

* * *

"I hate this stupid class," Hermione muttered sourly.

"Today we will be looking into crystal balls, working on our skills of prediction," Professor Trelawney said.

Amber Rose looked at her clouded crystal ball before declaring, "I see something!"

Everybody quieted and Professor Trelawney glided towards her. "What, child?"

"I see…an injury about to happen!"

"That's a bunch of-" Hermione muttered before a bludger flew through the window and knocked her in the head, causing her to fall unconscious.

"Hermione!" exclaimed Ron and Harry.

* * *

HOSPITAL WING (NOT RECOMMENDED FOR ANY STUDENTS):

* * *

"She'll be alright," Madame Pomfrey said as she checked Hermione out, who was laying in a hospital bed. "Just a bit of a knock. She should wake up in a half an hour or so."

"Oh, 'Mione!" Amber Rose cried. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't made that stupid prediction-"

"It's nobody's fault," Harry comforted her, rubbing her back.

"Except those stupid kids on the Quidditch pitch!" Ron said, raising his fist from where he was at Hermione's bedside.

"Ron, the teachers already gave them detention for two weeks," Amber Rose said reasonably, wiping her tears away. "And minus 50 points each."

"You also personally subtracted a 100 each and gave them an extra month of detention," Harry pointed out.

"I wish I could've done more."

* * *

BEING FORCED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WING (ALSO NOT RECOMMENDED FOR ANY STUDENTS)

* * *

"Visiting time is over for you, off to class," Madame Pomfrey said, checking her notes.

"I'm not leaving until she wakes up!" declared Ron.

"Mr. Weasley, you must leave-"

"Please, let him stay," Amber Rose begged and Madame Pomfrey relented. "Fine."

"Maybe I should stay too-" Harry started to say.

"No, Harry, please come with me!" Amber Rose tugged on his arm and he too relented.

* * *

SNOGGING (WAIT, THIS ISN'T A CLASS. GET TO CLASS!):

* * *

"Oh, Harry," Amber Rose murmured against his lips as they kissed against the castle wall.

Harry only groaned in response as she-

* * *

SKIP! (THANK ME IN THE REVIEWS)

* * *

"Minus 20 points from Gryffindor," Snape growled as he caught the two snogging. "Get to class!"

Amber Rose and Harry scurried along, smirking to each other.

* * *

DEFENSE AGAISNT THE DARK ARTS (FINALLY YOU HORNY TEENAGERS!):

* * *

"Ron, I'm fine," groaned Hermione as Ron fussed over her.

"You got a nasty bump to the head. It wouldn't have hurt to stay a bit longer, even Madame Pomfrey agreed-"

"I'm not going to miss class, Ron," Hermione stated forcefully, causing Ron to shut up.

"Today we're going to learn how to cast our patronus," Remus Lupin stated, having been re-hired by the school board. Apparently werewolves were all the rage nowadays. "I know some of you already have this skill, but nonetheless, a little brushing up wouldn't hurt."

The class spread around the room and Amber Rose was the first to cast the charm. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" A silvery mist escaped from the tip of her wand, quickly forming a phoenix.

"Wow," gasped the class and watched as the phoenix slowly disappeared.

"How did you do that, Amber Rose?" asked a struggling Hufflepuff.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have a lot of happy memories for this spell to work," Ron stated bluntly.

"I just thought of my time with all of you," Amber Rose smiled, lacing her hand with Harry's.

"Awww."

* * *

HISTORY OF MAGIC:

* * *

Ron sighed. "Boring as ever."

Harry nodded. "Even Amber Rose can't spice this up."

* * *

Finally classes ended for the day and the Golden Trio rested in the common room.

"I hope this isn't every day until the bracelets arrive," Harry wished as he played chess with Ron.

Hermione nodded as she focused on her relaxing activity, homework. "Indeed."

Ron nodded. "I'm not even exactly sure what happened to my boxers!"

"Ron, under the list of things I never needed to know," Hermione shook her head.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Author's Note: Yay, a review! Thank you Rose235b! Well, onto the chapter!_**

* * *

The Golden Trio were seated at the library, flipping through the Quibbler.

"Bloody Hell, they wrote a lot," Ron groaned. "How can you write this much without getting sick?"

"I don't know, I'd probably flee at the descriptions," Harry said. "I mean, half the page?"

"Wait, this seems important," Hermione hushed them. "'Common Places for a Sue to Rest. Number One: A School Dance'."

"Dance? Don't they mean ball?" Harry asked.

"No, it definitely says dance."

"But we don't have any 'dances' here," Ron said.

"It also says that 'In lieu of an actual dance, a Sue will create one if she must'."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Harry stated.

* * *

"I was right!" Harry exclaimed as Dumbledore stepped in front of the staff table, Amber Rose by his side. Unfortunately, she had given the trio "special privilege" by informing them of the news beforehand.

"The staff and I have made a decision," Dumbledore began. "Due to recent events, we believe the student body needs a break. As such, we will hold a dance for all fourth years and above, at the suggestion of Amber Rose."

The Great Hall filled with cheers of "Amber Rose! Amber Rose!" Even the slightly disgruntled third years and below joined, their love for Amber Rose overcoming their disappointment.

Amber Rose shyly smiled, her eyes bright as the cheers became louder and more rambunctiousness.

"Students, students," Dumbledore croaked, trying to calm down the students. But they were unreachable as they watched Amber Rose smile and sway her hips innocently.

When Amber Rose saw her Great Uncle struggling, she stared at the audience, er, _students,_ her golden eyes boring into them. "Please," she begged. "Quiet down so my Uncle Dumbledore can speak."

The students quieted immediately, though one first year was still on her feet, a roar emitting from her mouth. Embarrassed, she sat down.

Dumbledore took in a breath as Amber Rose prodded him on silently. "As I was saying, the dance will take place fortnight, in the evening. The entire day will be taken off for you to prepare. There will be a king and queen of the dance, elected by you. Now, you may continue with your meal."

Amber Rose pranced off the stage and sat down nest to Harry. "Didn't the announcement go wonderful?"

"Yeah," Harry murmured, staring into her eyes.

"Mhmm," Amber Rose hummed. "I can't wait for the dance! 'Mione, want to go dress shopping?"

"Sure!" Hermione agreed enthusiastically.

"And Ron, er, why don't you keep eating?"

"On it," Ron said, his mouth full of food.

"This is going to be the best dance ever!"

* * *

"This is going to be the worst 'dance' ever, if we don't stop it," Hermione announced to Ron and Harry in the common room, Amber Rose basking in glory at the Great Hall. "If Amber Rose goes in and wins queen, the praise she'll receive will be unimaginable! She'll have the student body under her thumb, permanently!"

"Not to mention the teachers and Dumbledore," Harry said.

"We've got to stop it!" Ron exclaimed. "We need a plan."

"I'll check the Quibbler some more, and the bracelets are coming tomorrow," Hermione said. "We'll start from there."

Then Amber Rose came in, she sucked up everybody's attention in the room, but it didn't matter. End time was coming.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note: Sorry this is a bit short, but it's supposed to act as a Segway to the main action. Hope you enjoy! Here's an extra Amber Rose fact to make up for it** :_

 ** _Amber Rose's Wand Type_** ** _: Wood from the whomping willow with a veela hair encased in glitter from a unicorn horn (it's okay cause the unicorn approved) as the core._**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Author's Note: First of all, sorry for not updating! I've been sick most of the week and yesterday was a person close to me's birthday and I didn't have time to update. So, sorry! Second of all, yay! Thank you all so much for the reviews. They truly brighten my day and put a smile on my face. So, thank you! Third of all, I just found this story is in a community! Me, being still a newbie to all the features on and how to work them didn't find out until last Saturday, though it probably was added before that, considering I remember seeing the indication, just not knowing what it meant. So, "Mary Sues, They're Quite Strange Creatures" is a member of "Hermione's View on Hogwarts" along with my other story, "Hermione's Denial". Now, an end to the rambling! To the story!_**

* * *

Harry, Hermione and Ron were nervously chewing on their breakfast. Would Hedwig bring the bracelets, or a letter of delay? Would Amber Rose arrive before they could put them on and recognize the bracelets?

Their thoughts were interrupted by a clattering of talons on the table and Hedwig stood there, three parcels tied to her leg.

Harry untied the parcels and gave them to Hermione to determine who's is who's as he smoothed Hedwig's feathers over and whispered her praises.

As Harry gave Hedwig a pass for a much deserved rest in the Hogwarts owlery, Hermione passed him his parcel. To Harry's delight, he did not spy Amber Rose sashaying through the doors of the Great Hall, meaning she must still be busy with Draco from when they ran into him.

Harry and Hermione each opened their personalized parcels, revealing a red bracelet in each box, fit perfectly to their wrists, each having a little magical charm in the shape of bug repellent. The order form fell out of each box also.

Ron groaned as he opened his.

"What?" Hermione said as she slid her band on.

"Mine came bloody pink," Ron said, showing the bracelet and Hermione and Harry had to stifle a laugh. "I asked for red." He gave a sigh. "Anybody want to trade?"

"No," answered Harry.

"Come on! How's it supposed to pass as house pride if it's pink?"

"It's not going to change color on any of us, you know," Hermione said.

"But you're a girl! At least it'd look natural at you!"

"When have I ever worn pink?" Hermione pointed out.

As Ron sulked, Harry leaned over to Hermione. "Shouldn't there be a spell that can change it?"

"There is, but doesn't he look rather dashing this way?" Hermione giggled as Ron reluctantly slid the bracelet on his wrist. "I should change all his clothes pink."

Harry gave her a strange look, before wondering whether or not someone would start a betting pool on when Ron would realize he could change the color.

"Wait," Ron exclaimed, and Harry waited for another argument against pink, but a small piece of paper was thrust into his face instead. "What's this?"

"An order form," Hermione answered dryly.

"No," Ron groaned. "Read it."

Harry squinted and adjusted his glasses. "'Works up to Sue power lever three'…?"

"They have levels?" Hermione asked.

"That's what I thought!" Ron said.

"Well-"

A suffocating flowery scent suddenly filled the air and Amber Rose slid in the seat next to Harry. "Oh, everybody's so excited for the dance! It's just so exhilarating!"

Harry nodded and pretended to be interested. "Yeah."

"But, who should I go with? 'Mione, any ideas?"

Hermione practically jumped at the sound of her new nickname, especially since she had to frantically shove the parcels under the table, but quickly recovered. "Uh- Harry! Yeah, how about Harry?"

Harry sent her a surprised look. "Me?"

Amber Rose gasped and sent out a joyful squeal. "Yes! I'd love to go to the dance with you!" She snuggled into Harry's arm. "Like a real couple!"

"Um…" Hearing his hesitation, Amber Rose gave him a confused, pleading look with a vicious glint in her eye. "Of course!"

"Aww."

A hiss then sounded out like an old tire letting out air. " _Potter_."

"Draco!" Amber Rose exclaimed, looking at the boy.

"Taking Amber Rose to the dance, eh? You two will regret this," Draco threatened before gliding away, never once breaking eye contact.

"Harry!" Amber Rose cried, tugging on his arm. "Please don't beat him up for my honor!"

"But…I want to?"

"Please, for my sake!"

"…Okay."

"Oh, thank you, Harry!"

* * *

"Do you think she suspected anything?" Ron asked in the library after class.

"I think for a moment, but not anymore," Harry answered.

Hermione sighed and looked at Harry. "Sorry for putting you on the line like that, Harry," Hermione said genuinely. "But going to the dance with her is the best strategy for her defeat."

Harry nodded. "I get it. Any other progress in a plan?"

"I-" Hermione started before she was interrupted.

"Hey, over here!" A Ravenclaw 6th year smiled at them and waved them over, the Golden Trio curiously following her command. The girl had rich chocolate brown hair pulled into a quirky side ponytail, her eyes were hazel, green weaved into brown, and were covered with thick black glasses. Her eyes glinted strangely as she looked at their bracelets before taking a deep breath.

"Hello, I heard you three talking a couple day ago about," Her eyes flitted around the room to see if anybody was listening. " _Mary Sues_." The last two words were a hushed whisper and just saying them made the girl's face scrunch up as though she had just sucked on a lemon.

"You know what they are?" Ron asked loudly, causing Hermine to hush him with equal volume.

"Yes, listening to Lovegood and reading the Quibbler can certainly be useful at times, as long as you don't immediately assume everything's absolute bull." Her tomboyish way of speaking made the boys snicker a bit and Hermione glare at them subsequently.

"So you know-" Hermione began to start before being interrupted by the Ravenclaw. "Amber Rose is one? Of course, I'm no dummy."

"I-I never said you were," Hermione stuttered.

"Anyway," The girl rolled her eyes. "We need to get rid of her."

"Of course," Hermione answered. "We're in the plan-making process right now."

"Well, I can help. Give me one day, I need to find a safe place for us to meet."

"How about the room of requirement?" Harry found himself blurting out.

"Perfect." The girl made a little face, hinting at them to leave but Ron ignored it. "What's your name?"

"Elizabeth. Elizabeth L.," The girl answered.

* * *

 ** _Author's Note: So, I'd like to hear your guesses on what Elizabeth's role in the story is going to be!_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews Rose325b and ligersrcool!**_

* * *

"I…how…why?" The little dancing holographic figure on the invitation was too much for Hermione. "We already know about the dance!"

"Maybe it's a dance thing?" Ron suggested as Harry waved his hand through the holographic dancer, who giggled, "That tickles", causing Harry to drop the card in shock.

"Or a Mary Sue thing," Hermione said sourly.

"Probably." The holographic dancer was now shouting not-so-nice things at Harry, waving her bedazzled baton in anger. Harry slowly closed the card with the tip of his shoe, but not before the dancer through her baton, which phased through Harry's forehead and landed on the carpet a few feet away. "Anyway, we'd better get going. Elizabeth said she's going to meet us in a couple minutes."

"Something still seems off," Hermione complained as Harry tried to pick up the baton only for it to pass through his fingers. He shrugged and joined Hermione and Ron.

"You're just being paranoid, 'Mione." Hermione gave Ron a nasty glare. "What? It's catches on!"

"One person believing us is better than nobody," Harry reasoned as Neville tripped over the baton and a muffled cackle came from the card.

"Still…"

* * *

"I hope this doesn't fail." Hermione, Harry and Ron finished their third lap around the corridor and pushed through the doors that had appeared. Elizabeth sat waiting on a stool, her legs crossed.

"Glad you made it," Elizabeth said, sarcasm seeping through her voice. "Only five minutes late."

"Gee, sorry." Harry scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly.

"No matter." Elizabeth pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. "Plan," she ordered.

Hermione stepped forward. "We've already got Harry going with Amber Rose to keep her at bay."

"Me and Hermione are going to go 'together' as," Ron coughed. "Comrades."

Elizabeth made a strange sound in the back of her throat as Hermione's cheeks became colored with a light tint of red. "For moral and situational support."

Elizabeth looked like she was about so say something, before changing track and flattening out the parchment and started to scribble. "Yes, of course. Amber Rose and Harry will obviously be in the center of the dance floor, so you two should be over…here." Elizabeth pointed to a spot near a corner on the paper, revealed to be a map of the Great Hall.

"Good, but what about you Elizabeth?" Harry inquired.

"I've got my own agenda at the dance," Elizabeth answered shortly.

The four spent a half-hour or so planning, until Hermione stood up. "This was lovely, but I've got an engagement."

"What is it?" Elizabeth asked gruffly.

"Dress shopping with Amber Rose," Hermione sighed.

The other wizards balked.

"Well, good luck," Elizabeth shrugged as Hermione was sent off to her doom.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note: Another shortie! So sorry, but at least you got a hint of what the next chapter is going to be...**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews, ligerscool, ImaginationStories,Obsidian11Rose and Silver Writer 207! I'm sorry, but I don't think I can continue updating weekly, due to all the activities in my life. I will continue with this story, just not weekly, because I feel being able to spend more time on the chapter will boost the quality. Sorry!_**

 ** _Also,_** _**Obsidian11Rose, the Sue in chapter 4 is the infamous Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way of "My Immortal", a "Harry Potter fanfic". It needs to be read to believe.**_

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except Amber Rose Ebony Dumbledore, sadly._**

* * *

Hermione Jean Granger was sitting in Madame Malkin's on a little plush bench as Amber Rose tried on various dresses, trying to pretend to be interested while reading her book.

"How about this one?" Amber Rose spun out in royal blue dress full of ruffles and sparkles. Hermione tried her best to appear cheery, considering this was the twentieth dress.

"Absolutely beautiful!"

"No, no," Amber Rose tutted. "Much too… _plain_. Oh!" she dramatically cried and crumpled onto the ground in tears. "All of these dresses, they're so _ugly_ on me!"

Hermione awkwardly crouched on the ground next to her. "No, you're beautiful!"

"No, I'm not, liar!" Amber Rose continued to sob. "How can anybody love me?"

"Uh-"

"No!" Amber Rose put her hand up dramatically. "Do not speak. Nobody in the _world_ can soothed my frazzled soul!" With that she fled from the store.

" _Well!_ " Hermione glared at the door and put her hands on her hips.

* * *

Amber Rose ran through the streets as glittering tears flowed down her perfect skin, like moonbeams streaming into the glassy surface of a lake, like raindrops falling onto the soft, pink petals of a cheery blossom tree, like sugar droplets flowing over gumdrops, like-

* * *

 _Fifty Grotesquely Sweet Similes Later…_

* * *

Amber Rose ran out of the streets and through the trees as the wind whistled around her perfect frame. When suddenly, she gracefully ran into a boy.

"Har- _Neville_?" Amber Rose's soothing voice went up a pitch.

"Uh, how did I get here?" Neville looked around nervously.

Amber Rose's lips pinched and her brow furrowed. Suddenly, Neville was gone in a flurry of pink glitter and diamonds and Harry appeared in his place. "W-What? Amber Rose?"

"H-Harry?" Amber Rose let out in a pitiful sniffle. "Oh, Harry!" Amber Rose threw her arms around Harry's chest and buried her head in it as the crisp autumn leaves swirled around them.

"Erm." Harry awkwardly patted her back. "Yes?"

Amber Rose looked up at him with tear-stained eyes. "I just wanted to have one final moment with you before you break up with me."

Harry dared to believe this nightmare was over for a second before common sense stuck. "Really- I mean, why so?"

"Because I'm- I'm so imperfect!" Amber Rose sobbed.

"That's…okay. I mean, you're only human. Not everyone is perfect-" Harry began before seeing the ferocious glare Amber Rose sent him. "I mean, no, no, you're perfect."

"You…really think so?" Amber Rose wiped the tears off her gorgeous, non-puffy face.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Harry!" Amber Rose tackled him in a bone-crushing hug. "Now that I have your acceptance, I'm magically okay again!"

"Great?"

"Well, off to dress shopping with 'Mione!" Amber Rose skipped off, leaving Harry standing there.

"I guess…I'll just go back to Hogwarts?"

* * *

Hermione had been reading a book about repellant charms when the door to Madame Malkin's swung dramatically open. "I'm ready to dress for success!"

Hermione quickly shoved the book in her bag and gave a weak smile. "Great."

Amber Rose sauntered up to the dressing room and hopped in.

"Wow! The perfect dress! So plot convenient!" Her voice echoed from within the stall. Amber Rose exited in dress that could only be described as…

* * *

 _A Two Page Long Dress Description Later…_

* * *

And it matched her hair!

"Oh, 'Mione," Amber Rose twirled in the dress. "Harry will love it!"

"Yes, he will," Hermione replied dully.

"Now…" Amber Rose got a hungry look in her eyes. "Your turn!"

Hermione looked like a deer in the headlights as she was thrown into the dressing room.

Poor, poor 'Mione.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews Guest, ligersrcool, Saturn10710 and DaughterOfTigris!_**

* * *

The day of the dance had arrived. And, mostly due to Amber Rose's influence, the school had worked its self into a panic.

* * *

"Amber Rose! Amber Rose!" Lavender cried. "I need your advice!"

"On what?" Amber Rose gave the aesthetically inferior Lavender a wise smile as she turned away from her mirror.

"Luscious Orange or Fiery Red?" Lavender waved the two tubes of lipstick frantically.

"Neither." Lavender's face fell. "You're much more Sweet Plum Shimmer."

Lavender grabbed the pale lavender lipstick from Amber Rose. Gently, of course, as not to do damage to Amber Rose's nails. "Thanks! It matches my, er, name!"

"All in a day's work."

As the next girl in the line stepped up to receive advice from Amber Rose, Hermione continued to pack her charmed clutch full of items. The Quibbler, wand, rope…

"'Mione!" Amber Rose's squeal broke her concentration and Hermione swung around. "C'mon, don't you want to get ready with us?"

"I'm actually doing quite well on my own-" Amber Rose glared ferociously at the girl. " _But_ I guess it wouldn't hurt."

"Yaysies!" Amber Rose grinned and grabbed Hermione's hand. "Now I'll make _you_ over."

The other girls groaned and grumbled but Amber Rose hushed them. "Now, now, I'll have time for all of you, but Hermione is my best friend."

Hermione flinched, but there was nothing she could do. It was vital for Amber Rose to remain ignorant until the time came, or she could turn a whole school of talented witches and wizards against them.

* * *

"Think we'll pull it off?" Ron fiddled with his collar needlessly. Luckily, the boys were getting ready in a semi-normal fashion since Amber Rose had busied herself with the entire female Gryffindor population. Unluckily, they were all forced to wear muggle suits.

"We should. The plan is great." Harry slid his bracelet underneath his sleeve and prayed that Amber Rose wouldn't notice.

"Hmmph." Ron gave one last tug on the fabric. "But things never go this right for us."

"Yeah. But there isn't anything else we can do, can we?"

* * *

Elizabeth smoothed her skirt down. Dark and as blue as midnight. Perfect.

As she tugged a silver, glittery scrunchie in place, one of her roommates questioned her.

"I never knew you were into this stuff, Elizabeth," she said. Elizabeth turned around and scanned the girl callously.

"There a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Always a mystery, Elizabeth," giggled another.

"Mhmm." Elizabeth strode to the door. "Well," She turned around and gave a charming smile, her eyes lighting up behind her trademark thick spectacles. "Time to go."

* * *

The fairy lights twinkled as students milled around, chatting awkwardly and drinking punch. Hermione observed it all from her station.

Luckily for Hermione, Amber Rose had decided to not force an elaborate outfit on the young witch, seemingly so no one outshined her. So Hermione was wearing a plain sky blue dress with a white sash and a white flower on her hip.

Ron had been stuffed into a black and white suit that makes him feel "like a stupefied troll".

They were lingering in the corner, an exuberant plant hiding them from sight. Ron was munching on a tart and Hermione was twiddling with her skirts when they saw the signal.

Elizabeth had made her wand spark up three times, which meant Amber Rose had arrived. Though it wasn't that hard to tell, considering that when Amber Rose walked in, the rest of the students immediately worked itself into a frenzy.

Amber Rose had strutted into the area, Harry linked to her side by her hooking her arm with his. She was wearing…

* * *

 _One Repetitive Two Page Long Outfit Description Later…_

* * *

And of course, matching shoes!

As Amber Rose glided to the center of the dance floor with Harry, cheers roaring behind her, Harry's wand sparked up once.

"Okay, he's given the signal," Hermione noted.

"I could tell." Ron finished his tart.

Hermione gave an irritated sigh before continuing, "We should get to the Room of Requirement."

Ron nodded. "Think she'll expect it?"

"No. We've been much too careful." But their gaze wasn't trained on Amber Rose.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note: No! It's almost ending! It's weird, though, I have the ending planned out since the beginning and now it will finally be written. Well, thanks for reading! Remember to review.**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note: I can't believe this is the finale. After four months...I'm going to miss this story. Well, thank you for the reviews Forgotten Tyrant, OnyxBunneraffe, ligersrcool, Quote Owl and especially Alicia Olivia Mirza (I mean...wow)!**_

 _ **(**_ ** _This update is also part of a series of oneshots and story updates to celebrate my one year anniversary of joining this site! And Happy New Year! May 2017 be better than 2016! [Seriously. We need it])_**

* * *

Harry swung Amber Rose around the dance floor, her giggles that sounded out every time her feet were lifted off the ground playing in his head. Frankly, he had no idea how he was dancing so well, but bet it had its origins from Amber Rose, who he felt was leading the dance more than he was.

When the song finally ended, he held her almost sickeningly close. "Amber Rose, how about we get out of here for a while?" His palms were sweaty and he tried to look as suave as he could under the circumstances, which wasn't a lot.

Amber Rose giggled again. "Oh, _Harry_." Before she paused in a moment for thought. "But…what about the king and queen announcements-"

He interrupted her. "We'll get back in time," he tried to purr.

"Oh, well, I can't resist it when you put it like that." Amber Rose batted her long lashes as Harry tugged her off the dance floor.

* * *

"Just stand right here," Elizabeth directed Hermione. Elizabeth, Ron, and Hermione were in an empty classroom, each of their wands drawn and glowing with light in the dark room, waiting. "Ron, have you got it yet?"

Ron rifled through Hermione's clutch, elbow deep in the enchanted purse. "Almost…here!" He grabbed a bundle of rope out, tossing it to Elizabeth.

The minute the fiber touched Elizabeth, she backed away and let it flop on the floor. "Oh, Ron, you know that's Hermione's job." She nudged the bundle towards Hermione with her foot.

As Hermione went over and grabbed the rope, she and Ron exchanged assured glances.

The group was suddenly alerted when the sound of muffled voices started to seep in the room. Well, one was muffled.

"Here we are!" Harry all but shouted.

Amber Rose giggled, "Shh, Harry," as he took a prolonged amount of time to jimmy the door open.

The group inside the classroom scurried to their positions, and the room was dark once again.

Harry led Amber Rose inside, tugging her to the center of room, before he doubled back to lock the door.

Amber Rose pulled out her wand, and muttered, " _Lumos_ ," before gasping when the room lit up. "What are you guys-"

Her wand was knocked out of her hand with an, " _Expelliarmus!"_ , before she could even finish her sentence, and Ron claimed it.

Hermione guided the enchanted rope, which had previously been floating mid-air, and it quickly tied Amber Rose's hands together, and another piece of rope snaked around and tied her feet, causing her to pathetically flop on the floor.

"Guys! Why are you doing this?" Amber Rose cried, squirming on the floor desperately against her bonds.

"Jigs up, Sue," Elizabeth hissed, her face twisted.

Amber Rose looked up Harry, who offered no mercy, before glaring defiantly at the group. "Joke's on you! _I_ can do wandless magic!" She started to writhe and twist her hands, speaking in an incomprehensible tongue. Her golden eyes glowed threateningly, her silver hair shining and twisting around her as her words got more passionate and bold. Then…nothing happened. Her hair lost its sheen, her eyes grew dull and her words rattled off and disappeared. The quartet was unharmed, and Amber Rose gaping. "H-How-"

"Anti-Sue ropes, owl-order," Hermione stated surely.

Ron nodded. "I'm surprised it worked."

Amber Rose was speechless, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.

Harry raised his wand and pointed at her, but said nothing.

Elizabeth grew agitated with the silence. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Harry said nothing, and only stared.

Elizabeth suddenly twitched and leaped forwards, grabbing Harry's wand and jabbing it further towards Amber Rose. He still did nothing.

"Finish her!" shrieked Elizabeth, her eyes ablaze. Harry suddenly turned towards her. "No! Hermione, Ron!"

Elizabeth flew backwards, landing on her back before the twines of rope grappled around her, pulling and tying her to Amber Rose.

"What are you doing?" grunted Elizabeth, twisting and snarling like an animal, disturbing Amber Rose. "I'm not a Sue!"

"Please," spat Hermione. "We're no dummies."

She continued, "Astonishingly beautiful, smart, always know what's going on, you're a classic Sue!"

Elizabeth was silent for a moment, before she twisted her head towards Amber Rose, glaring ferociously. "I blame you! They would've never found out if it weren't for you and your flashy looks!"

Amber Rose whimpered. "Hey!"

"It's true! I've been at this school since second year, biding my time, but then you showed up and ruined everything! You spent too much energy convincing all of the teachers to look at the real threats!"

"Well, it's not my fault you got discovered!" Amber Rose shot back.

"Is too! I needed to get involved to get rid of you!"

"Why, were you threatened?" taunted Amber Rose.

"Was not!"

Elizabeth and Amber Rose continued to bicker in the background, _"I'm Dumbledore's great niece!" "I'm Lupin's secret daughter!"_ , while Hermione, Harry and Ron looked up the spell to get rid of the Mary Sues, the true plan all along.

Hermione looked down at the copy of the Quibbler in her hands. "It says here that they should be banished to the trash can on a computer."

"A computer? What's that?" Ron asked.

Hermione and Harry looked at him blankly. "Muggle thing." With Hermione continuing, "I'll explain it to you later."

"Well, all right."

"It even has a spell here for it!" Hermione exclaimed, showing Harry and Ron the spell in question. Hermione looked up and grinned at Harry. "Harry, I think you should do the honors, since they did try to steal your destiny."

"Okay." Harry puffed up his chest and raised his wand, happy to get rid of the two leeches. " _MarySueic Trashcanius_!" At the words the two Mary Sues disappeared with a pop, leaving behind only a small patch of glitter. Never to be seen or heard from again at Hogwarts.

And all was as it should have been once more.

Suddenly, a hole opened up from the ceiling, dropping in a very disgruntled and made-up Ginny Weasley.

Well, almost.

"Ginny!" They all exclaimed, with Ron continuing, "What did you do to you face?"

"What did _I_ do? _What did I do!_ " Ginny stood up and started nearing Ron, causing Hermione and Harry to take a couple steps back out of fear. "I didn't do anything! All those girls in that cheap, fancy replica version of Hogwarts did this! They called me plain all because my eyes weren't multi-colored and I didn't have a figure like a model! They practically attacked me with thousands of makeup brushes and pounds of glitter! They took away my wand and returned it covered in rubies!" she barked, shaking the above-mentioned wand. "What I should be asking is why you, Ron Weasley, didn't notice that I disappeared on the first day of school!"

Ron's voice cracked as he tried to calm down the angry red-head. "Now, Ginny, what makes you think a silly thing like that?"

"Don't lie to me," Ginny growled, poking Ron's chest with the tip of her wand. "We could see what's going on here. There's a giant screen that shows all what you do here, the other girls fawned over it twenty-seven, going 'that's where I'm gonna be someday'!"

Ginny turned around and started glaring at Hermione and Harry. "And you two," she heaved. "Didn't even notice I was gone either!"

"Ginny," Hermione said gently, walking towards Ginny **.** "You see, we had a very difficult situation as Amber Rose was-"

"I know that git was a Mary Sue," Ginny spat. "I've been watching you the whole time, haven't I? You finding out nearly made the other girls wet themselves."

"Yes, so you know how much they can disrupt reality." Hermione gripped something underneath her cloak.

"Enough so you couldn't notice my absence for a few measly seconds?" Ginny asked in a rhetorical question.

"Those Sues were both very powerful, Amber Rose was strong enough to fool Dumbledore- PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

Ginny froze, and not because she was scared.

Harry managed to leap and catch her before she fell to the floor, stiff as a board and unable to move, her wand, which had been previously raised, now snapped against her side.

"Hermione! That was my sister!" Ron yelled as Harry freaked out about what he was supposed to do with the paralyzed Ginny.

"You're sister was about to kill us, Ron."

"She was- bloody hell. Let's run!"

"You're just gonna leave your sister here?" Harry asked after he had gently laid Ginny on the floor, who was in turn glaring ferociously at Ron and Hermione.

"She can handle herself and we'll return with the counter curse once she cools down."

"Well…" Harry looked guilty and was now switching between looking at his crush and his best friend.

"Do you want to stay here and potentially face her wrath?" Hermione asked.

"No," Harry answered shortly.

"Good. We'll be back soon, Ginny. You'll be fine. And, um, sorry."

Ginny looked she was about to release a year's worth of curses (both magical and not) in a minute as the trio walked towards to door.

"I wonder how Hagrid's doing," Ron said.

"We haven't seen him in a while, have we?" Hermione questioned.

"The Sues probably didn't like him," Harry theorized.

"Wonder if we can have tea?" Ron asked.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note: Well, that's that. I'll miss you guys. Seriously. But, if you still need a WinterFairy209 dose of sue-y goodeness (or badness) check out my Harry Potter Parodies, which lives on. Or Hogwarts: A Tale Previously Untold, which isn't a parody, but is another Harry Potter fanfic by me. And...Bye.**_

 _ **Signing off of her laptop, WinterFairy209.**_

 _ **PS: Did you notice? The hole in the ceiling was a...plot hole! *bdmm tsss* (Please not flame me in the reviews)**_


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